Sunday, January 23, 2011


I was laying in bed, either last night or this morning,  ( I can't remember which) and I felt really pathetic. 

Here I love to write and yet I never do.

Once upon a time, say 4 years ago, I was a great writer. I had a voice, as they say. And I knew how make prose go my way. 

Not so much anymore. 

I'm jealous of my friends who have obviously pursued their love of writing and literature. They still write fiction for fun or freelance or write/wrote for their school paper (if I could go back in time, I would do this...major regret).

I do nothing of the sort. I pretty much feel like I sold out to a $12 an hour job. 

And it makes me feel, as I said in the line above, really pathetic. 

Sunday, January 9, 2011

and so, we meet again

I can't recall the last time I blogged. 

Was it before Christmas? After Thanksgiving? During Halloween?

Like I said, no recollection. 

But, I'm going to jump back into it like I've never been gone. 

Which should be easy, right? Because, honestly, most everything is the same. 

I am still a rat on a rat wheel of an eight to five job. Except now, my boss has my cellphone number. Yep, I've gotten 10am calls on a holiday. Okay, maybe it as just New Years Eve, but still... screw you cellphone. Also, I got a promotion. The company bought out my temp contract and upped my pay to $12 an hour. Exciting? Yes.

I am still living with my roommates. Except I'm realizing that I may never be able to live with college kiddos again. Nothing against them, but they are living in a fantasy world. Not that I wasn't right there with them a year ago. I no longer have the energy to hit up multiple parties a night or any parties for that matter. Oh and also, I can't deal with being left by myself for weeks on end while they all go home for Winter Break. Big lesson learned about myself: I HATE TO BE ALONE. A few days before Christmas,   I was sitting in my car outside of the grocery store and realized something extremely scary: I am completely alone. What if something happened? What if my car stalled? Or I fell and slipped in the shower? Or I was abducted? There is no one here in town to help me. My support circle is miles and miles away. FREAKED ME OUT.

I am still dating my best friend. Except now, T and I are facing a dilemma. See below.

Okay, so I'll put it out there. I am slightly pissed that he has decided to move back home after he graduates in March. Why can't we just get an apartment together like in my fantasies? 

I'm beginning to realize that I would be extremely stupid to just up and quit my job and move back home just to be closer to my boyfriend. No way am I going to find another entry level job that has paid holidays, a full stocked breakroom, and $300 Christmas bonuses in my sideways hometown. No way, Jose. 

This realization makes me depressed.